Self Improvment- Mind and heart

Listen to the mind and the heart but When?

Mind and Heart in boxing ring

Life passes through so a many phases and sometime it comes across to a situation where we do not decide – what to do? Our heart says some thing and we decide something else. But that state of dilemma is not that much expensive, that we can’t bear with the burden of our decision. Our mind accepts but the heart rejects. Then at this stage – what should we do? That is very important, so at the time it is better to take a wise and balanced decision. Whatever we do in our life, it is our self decision, and so whether it is right or wrong, we have to face the consequences

To do or not to do Situation-

That is the To Do or Not to Do situation. We are in-between the mind and heart.This In-between circumstances compel a person to reach to some conclusion and take some decision. If he or she doesn’t take any decision, he will be surrounded by stress and anxiety. Circumstances compel him or her to that extend that he or she can't even believe in himself  or herself and he requires other’s opinion or advice. Seeking of opinion of others is not wrong. But other don't understand the circumstances well enough through which we are passing . Small things are even important. This thing can be understood, who has faced the same situation.

It is said that woman thinks from heart and man through mind. So women are emotionally stronger than man..., so having delicate heart; sentiments dominate her. And due to it, if she faces any trouble; she doesn’t perplex.

The voice of heart and mind:-

Mind Over Heart OR Heart Over Mind

 Whenever we heard the voice of our heart, the decision is taken in a hurry. Because emotions neither ready to listen to anyone’s voice and doesn’t analyze the situation and it's outcoming results. But the mind whenever thinks, it analyses both the good and the bad aspects, and then person takes the right step into right direction.

Some subjects are related to mind and some are to the heart. Suppose you think that life partner is cheating you, so you have to decide whether to continue this relation or not? In this tug of war of both mind and heart act together. Actually this is a cycle, where heart says, “ May be he relaise his mistake and will correct it,so there is no need to think about separation”. But the mind doesn’t agree and think – how can I believe in such life  a partner, who is deceiving me. Who knows...! he can't cheat again? When you think about that very important part of your life that is affecting you to a great extend,listen to the voice of your mind.

 It often happens; we listen to the voice of our heart due to the presence of others and become stressful. So better if we draw some limit, where we put emphasis on the emotional side and where we give wait to the decisive side. If there is no any negative effect of it, go with your heart. But if the circumstances are not under your control, it is wise to take decision through mind.

Your opinion towards life:-

In the tug war of mind and soul: it depends upon the ability of the endurance of a person and the level of his thinking. In which form he asses the life. Sometime it happens that a thing that is ignored at a level, is unbearable at different stages. At this stage, use the brain and think- Why is it happening to me? Previously wasn’t it thought carefully?

Listen to the heart:-

Whatever your heart suggests you, it might be right up to some extent. When the question arises about your future and your family is imposing their decision on you. Then go with your heart because at this time you are right. In early stages your family won’t go with your decision but one day they will realize that you were right.

Heart always says right. That is not fully correct. At this stage if somebody takes any decision emotionally, he or she would be wrong and the consequences will be born by him only. So be careful when you are standing at the crossroad of your life and you are not in a position to take right decision. At that time follow your mind because your mind suggests you right path.

            Some people are of the nature that they always take decision through heart and get failure. But they do not regret about it. These type of people love to live in present.

The mutual pulling of mind and heart always goes on, because this is the axis of human life. It is better to know, when to use mind and when to use heart. Keep a proper balance. It would be better if other do not interfere in your life because nobody understands your situation better than you.

                                                                             Veena Sethi.

Anger....an emotion to discover

Anger: The Pessimistic Emotion of Human Nature

Man holds many different types of emotions- love, affection, faith joy, courage. These are optimistic type of emotions and sorrow, pain, hatred, anger, jealousy are some of the pessimistic emotions.

Irrupted Anger

  Anger is the most intense and violent type of pessimistic emotion or excitement. It dominates the human mind. Anger is moved by the heart, mind cannot control it. Anger has room in the heart as profound slept seed and it bursts up when circumstances and reasons favors for its irruption.

Anger is Circumstantial: - When does anger irrupt? Why does it erupt? It is undecided and uncertain. But whenever anger is generated circumstances are responsible for it. Most of the time society and family are responsible for it. When a person is rebuked or punished without any reason or on false ground, and it happens repeatedly, that leads to disappointment and pessimism. Such situations are unbearable for the victim. Anger arises inside him, suddenly he becomes violent and on the contrary he opposes the situation violently and vigorously.

Intensity of Anger: - Anger is an intense feeling and it depends upon the intensity of the circumstances. It starts with the use of abusive words, comments, symbolic words and body gesture that hurts the emotions of any person. As per reaction anger suddenly irrupts and makes the person intolerant, peevish and uneasy. He looses self control; he can sustain anger up to some limit. In simple word anger is reaction of such actions.
Once anger starts, after sometime temperament of that person is so high that he becomes so violent and can commit some crime and that is the end of his anger. At this stage mind subsides the anger. When person returns to his normal state, he regrets to his act.
Another type of circumstances that creates anger is business rivalry that is very frequent in present day's world.

Intense Anger

Impatient person is very easily being the victim of anger. This type of person has no patience to wait for sometime. He wants action at once as he demands for something. Otherwise he looses his temper and starts taking unrestrainedly and makes the atmosphere full of tension. He reproaches for a short period. Better if nobody notices him, he becomes normal soon.
Anger has neither any shape nor any type. It depends upon human nature. People with different nature hold anger with different intensity and sharpness: -

• Some people who are of 'come and go' type. Anger arises in him and suddenly disappears. It is just like a line that is drawn on the water by the wooden stick that disappears as it is formed on the water surface.
• If intensity is slight high, anger stays for sometimes just like a line on sand that disappears by wind after sometime.

• Some person are of very cruel type and they adopt anger of a aggressive intensity, their anger is just like the line that is drawn on hard earth and neither can be wiped out by the water or can be effaced by air current. The line is erased with efforts, so as the anger.

Anger arises effortlessly on those who retains or adopts pessimistic emotions like jealously hatred etc. For them the world seems to be the great enemy for them. They can be violent and even commit crime for worthless things.

Constructive And Destructive Anger: - the cumulative anger is of destructive type. It seems in racial, social and caste conflict. This type of anger has changes the course of History so a many times.

Anger can be constructive or destructive; it depends upon the emotional setback that originates due to the injustice. On first hand any person tries to ignore the circumstances that develop due to injustice but if it is done repeatedly and he just bears all these up to the limit of patience. And he opposes it and fight for that injustice. This is constructive anger. The example is Mahatma Gandhi, who fought against the racism in the South Africa when he was thrown away from the first class compartment of the train by a White Ticket Collector, at that time the Blacks were not allowed to travel in the first class of the train in the South Africa.

Anger As a power:-

• Anger shouldn't be up to that extend that it controls the mind and the heart.
• It is natural but the point is how a person reacts over it.
• If the person can control the anger, he will be the winner other wise the looser.
• If anger irrupts due to the injustice, it can be the inspirational force that motivates a person. But if it should be remain when the anger disappears, constructive results can't be achieved. For this better if the victim always remembers the injustice to motivate him.
• Angry person can easily be misguided and he is used as a tool.
• Aggression and passion for the aim are must to achieve the success. Sometimes it develops through anger in some people so anger becomes inspirational to him.
• Anger has a power of creation that affects the humanity by and large, but this state of anger develops slowly like the germinating seed. After its appearance its stays and converts into creation. That is in the form of reforms in the society. History is the evidence of such anger.

• Anger that develops due to the weakness or lacking of something in the life can be constructive or destructive, depends upon the nature of a person.

Means to Control The Anger:-
Everybody knows anger irrupts like a volcano and is uncontrollable but there are ways to control anger.

Control of Anger

• First of all try to take yourself away from the atmosphere that creates the anger.
• Whenever anger explodes, start counting with effort.
• Try to walk fast or start taking deep breathes. Inhales deeply and exhales gently and slowly that helps to control the anger
• Whenever anger irrupts don't say anything and keep silence that gives you sometime to think about the situation.
• When the anger settles down, think about the situation and try to find the reason for the anger. We can't control the situation but can control ourselves.
• Whenever anger appears it should be mold into another direction. Better if a person consume his anger in some other work, it is difficult to do in normal conditions. The results will be better.

• If a person knows the reason of the anger, next time when he will come across the same situation, better if he stops doing work because angry person is more abusive and arrogant.

The best way is to control anger is live a disciplined life and develop the habit of self control. It would be fine enough if you don't welcome anger as your difficulty. Make anger your friend not your enemy.

                                                                 Veena Sethi.